Tuesday, November 18, 2014

New Pantheon 20: Attack on the Monastery

After extensive debate whatsoever, our heroes decide to once again try Saffron's Monastery. Ayslin, Swaggles, and Jeptha buff with fly and invisibility, then teleport to outside the monastery walls. They use their respective elemental visions to identify Saffron, meditating in her room surrounded by candles.

Greater Teleport in! The Monk has extremely high AC (50) and ridiculous CMD (75), but a few ice balls and a windwall later and she is dispatched. Before she goes, she knocks over a candle, triggering a contingency.

Before our heroes have time to celebrate, Castor's Avatar teleports into the room. Dealing 50 damage a throw to each character, the Alchemist blinds Jeptha and confuses Ayslin and Swaggles before they can even act. Ayslin is dealt double damage modified by a ring of fire resistance 30, and Jeptha is dealt none. Jeptha, successfully trips the Avatar, but with his bombs attacking touch the Alchemist is content to throw from the floor. The next round, Jeptha is confused and blind, and Ayslin and Swaggles are nauseated and confused. Then Jeptha is confused, blind, and nauseous, and the Alchemist pulls out his dagger to slowly kill the fire god.

He proceeds to whittle away at the fire god for a dozen rounds, blocking Jeptha's only escape route. He takes a small break to massacre Ayslin and Swaggles with bombs, then goes back the stabbing until Jeptha is dead.

The spirits of Fire, Water, and Air swear revenge and leave cursing, and seek out new hosts.

It is now July 11th, 2015 AF. Our heroes played this at Level 19, Ascension level 6. Despite killing Saffron, word of their defeat at the hands of the Avatar spreads and they do not gain an Ascension level. They do, however, level up to Level 20.

Monday, November 17, 2014

New Pantheon 19: To Saffron's Domain

Our heroes determine that Humungus' day shall be called "Antichristmas" or "No More Games Day."

After some deliberation, our heroes decide to once again ignore the Reclaimers. They instead set their sights on Osiris, the city Saffron rules in Northern Dorma. This is prime Trinity territory, and our heroes greater teleport to the closest location they know - Jeptha's old farm.

The farm has been transformed into a shrine to Jeptha's holiness, and offerings are being taken. Leading the sermon is Jeptha's pappy Gilead, a terrible person who treated Jeptha like a dog. When Gilead sees Jeptha, he falls to the ground and begins weeping in fear. Jeptha swiftly takes revenge. He tells the gathered mob the truth about his pappy, then castrate the man and puts him back in prison in Gallowhall. Easy.

Our heroes go north toward Osiris. Acting upon Swaggle's desire to be more evil and draw the final avatar out of hiding, the gods convert villages on the way, pillaging and slaughtering any who do not convert. They also take about 1,000 people on a forced march. By the time they reach Osiris, only 100 remain. The intent is that these hardened individuals will become their guard, but the gods fail to quite break them.

The citizens of Osiris are hiding. Our heroes ignore them and head straight to Saffron's Monastery, where she governs. They see an ugly woman (Saffron) and a man in a black cloak, a bandolier of vials around his arms. Castor's Avatar. Both individuals stand atop the 30 foot walls that surround the building.

"Why have you come here?" Asks Saffron.

"Well," begins Swaggles, and then Saffron, at the limit of her social interaction for the day, fires.

The combat is brief and one sided. In the surprise round, the alchemist throws a bomb and deals 50 damage to Humungus. Saffron fires an arrow and hits. Then Swaggles, able to act in the surprise round due to battlefield awareness, drops a wind wall bubble around the gods. They are protected from arrows, and the bombs that a 30% miss chance.

It's the alchemists' turn. 5 bombs go flying. Attacking touch, each hits Humungus for around 50 damage. Humungus amazingly shrugs off a variety of effects, but when a stink bomb is thrown Swaggles gets nauseated. Saffron waits passively for a heroes to exit the wind wall.

Humungus and Jeptha look at each other as Swaggles begins vomiting in the background. Neither of them have a way of quickly getting to their opponents, 30 feet up a wall. Humungous has been dealt over 300 damage in a single turn.

For the first time in a long time, the gods retreat.

Ayslin greater teleports our heroes back to Gallowhall to lick their wounds.

It is now July 10th, 2015. Our heroes played this at level 19, Ascension Level 6.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

New Pantheon 18: Varaug's Lair

After discussing some more teleportation logistics, our heroes decide to take out the Great Red Wyrm Varaug. They scry on the Dragon and determine his location, deep underground in a massive cavern on a huge pile of gold. He appears to have no anti-scrying measures up (and why would he? Scrying and teleportation are spells not generally available to mortals), so our heroes shrug their shoulders, buff and teleport in.

A contingency spell activates, and the dragon goes invisible. However, in the surprise round Layric casts glitter dust, and reveals the colossal beast. Humungous and Jeptha charge forward to attack, the former dealing hundreds of damage from pounce and the latter dealing nearly dozens of damage to the creature too large to trip. Ayslin shoots an ice ball, and Swaggles bravely and cunningly maneuvers behind a pillar.

The Dragon attempts to cast time stop but is countered by Layric. He then flies up 100 feet, trying to get out of Humungous' range.

Another ice ball, then Layric casts fly on Humungous and Humungous pounces again (the dragon bites for an opportunity attack). With over 900 damage dealt in two rounds of combat, Varaug falls without having done anything. Down goes one of the toughest dragons in the game (with double hp), and our heroes barely took damage.

The Dragon's horde is impressive, but perhaps beneath our heroes now. They discuss many things, including creating a holy city on this continent using the gold.

Our heroes teleport to Dail, where they tell a guard, now named Kevin, to prepare the town for celebration that next evening. They then teleport away.

Swaggles has a teleport mishap, and winds up in Tomatoville. His attempts to help the populace result in mass death and destruction, but he is scried on and picked up by Ayslin within an hour.

The next day our heroes teleport to Dail, then parade through the streets. Humungous holds aloft the head of Varaug. At the city square, a massive crowd has formed, and Swaggles makes a speech. They re-enact the battle, and Swaggles takes a more central role. The crowd starts chanting Swaggles, and he takes all the credit for the dragon's defeat. Humungous decrees that on this holiday there shall be no more games, but seems to change his ruling when pressed by the crowd.

After one too many silences, Swaggles makes the "this is awkward" sign at Ayslin, and the group teleports away.

It is now June 20th, 2015. Our heroes played this at level 18, Ascension Level 5, but have now ranked up to Ascension Level 6.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

New Pantheon 17: To the Isle of Madness

Our heroes continue on their journey for another week until, one day during lunch, an ethereal figure appears on deck. Perhaps 13 or 14, the female claims to be Ovelia, queen of the reclaimers. She brings a soulstone in friendship, and would like to know the New Pantheon's intention.

Some diplomatic pussyfooting occurs. Ovelia assures the Gods that they will not find worshipers among the reclaimers, and warns them that if they take one step on land they will be faced with city-leveling war machines. She requests an alliance, but is denied. She warns our heroes to turn the ship around or find themselves at the bottom of the sea. Then, she disappears.

Aislyn teleports the soulstone home to prevent gargor from being lured, then our heroes discuss for a long time. They travel another week to an uninhabited island, then instruct their crew to head home and teleport home themselves.

Back at Gallowhall, our heroes ask Krannic to find somebody who knows enough about the Reclaimer lands to give Aislyn the information needed for greater teleport. Krannic explains that he can try, but he has never heard of anybody who has been there.

Then, Jeptha thinks of somebody.

Nut. The PC from the previous campaign who betrayed the others. Now abandoned on a tropical island, his madness infects people throughout the world.

Our heroes set Krannic to find a Nutter, which he does within a week. In the mean time, our heroes sell 45 soulstones for 2,250,000gp, but delay the shopping spree.

A Nutter is captured in Karem-Kora, and our heroes teleport there to question him. After extensive questioning, and a temporary removal of insanity, our heroes find themselves talking to Nut through the man. They ask him to describe where he made his first fishing rod (a place perhaps a month's difficult journey from the Reclaimer lands) and he does.

One greater teleport later, and our heroes find themselves on a beach, just as described. But there is a fishing rod here, as well as a cooked fish and a small campfire. Layric sees an invisible Nut sneak into the forest. Swaggles flies up and finds that they are on a small island.

"Uhhhh" they all say.


A shuriken misses Jeptha by a hair, and Swaggles responds with an area attack which damages the invisible ninja. Layric casts Grasping Hands, but the Ninja Escapes. Using his invisibility and the jungle, the Ninja is unseen and nearly unseeable - but not to the bloodhound like T-Rex that Layric summons! They follow the T-Rex into the jungle for a round or two before the beast explodes into a shower of flesh and blood (and coconuts?).

A missed glitter dust is followed by 125 damage and 8 strength damage of shrunken straight to Jeptha. Then, a stinking cloud gets Nut and grasping hands grasps him. Quickly, our heroes teleport home and put him Nut in a cell.

Then, a long questioning process begins. Jeptha takes the helm, and Nut senses a deep, underlying psychological connection between the two (both characters were played by the same player). The god of madness reaches out to both Tomas and Peter, then warns our heroes against going to sleep ever again. He babbles of rocks, and emus, and missing hands, and rhinos named Rihanna.

Eventually, Layric summons a Succubus who casts Dominate Person. Still crazy but somewhat more agreeable, Nut describes in detail the Reclaimer city.

After this is done, our heroes knock Nut unconscious and bring him back to the Isle of Madness. Because, they reason, there is a place in this world for madness after all.

It is now June 17th, 2015. Our heroes played this at level 17, Ascension Level 5.

Session 18: Varaug's Lair

Friday, November 14, 2014

New Pantheon 16: End of an Empire

As they watch the tornado covering Kathmar, our heroes have a long discussion about next steps.

Once a plan is formulated, they find a small cave and sleep. 8 hours later and the storm is still raging. Swaggles suppresses the tornado, and they survey the damage. Minaret, walls, military headquarters and inquisitorial headquarters are all still standing, but the civilian areas have been completely destroyed. A large pile of sand, perhaps 20 feet tall, rests over most of the city. Our heroes deduce that much of the army probably found refuge within the government buildings.

Drawing from his memories as an inquisitor, Rache describes the entrance of the Inquisitorial Office to Ayslin. One greater teleport and the group is inside. Short work is made of the 60 or so exhausted and demoralized fighters in the entrance hall (capped off by a massive Acid Ball by Layric), and the remaining soldiers scatter. Rache grabs the nearest enemy, and gleans that the high council is in the bunker a few stories down. Down our heroes head, killing the few enemies who do not flee.

The iron door to the bunker boasts the most complex lock Layric has ever seen, but 20 minutes of work and some guidance by Rache sees it open (but only barely).

Inside the cramped room are the thirteen councilmen, half a dozen other government officials (including the bug-man), and half a dozen guards. Rache demands that they kneel or die. One guard does, but everybody else remains standing.

Those who stand are slaughtered.

Our heroes return to the entrance, then Layric burrows into the military headquarters. Using their telepathic link, Ayslin teleports the remainder of the group there. Again a couple dozen soldiers are murdered, and the rest surrender. Our heroes then make their way down to the underground factory which once produced Relic Walkers. Here they find another impossibly difficult lock, cracked by Layric, and inside - 50 soulstones of various shapes and sizes. Our heroes bag these immensely precious items. They are worth 50,000gp per soulstone - 2,500,000gp in total. The New Pantheon is suddenly loaded.

There is no more resistance.

Our heroes gather the remnants of the Dorian empire on the sand pile in front of the Minaret. "Go forth, and share what has happened here today. Kathmar is a dead city. You have witnessed the power of the New Pantheon."

Then, our heroes dramatically teleport back to Gallowhall. Krannic has been running operations smoothly. What's next? The dragon is considered, but ultimately considered too dangerous. Breya is then chosen as the next target. Without any way to teleport there, our heroes must travel by boat. They commandeer Narset's fastest ship that can be crewed by 6 people, and begin sailing.

Two weeks into the journey, and our heroes are attacked by Aymeric's massive Avatar, a 20th level inquisitor of immense strength. But he cannot match the sheer amount of damage dealt, and goes down in but two rounds.

It is now June 10th, 2015 A.C. Our heroes played this session at level 16, Ascension Level 4, but have just ranked up to Ascension Level 5.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

New Pantheon 15: Attack on Kathmar

After discussing Varaug a bit more, our heroes decide to go level Kathmar. Ayslin is back, and better than ever. Greater Teleport will make this whole travel thing much easier. Our heroes nip back to Karem-kora to buy some Potions of Jump and Boots of the Cat, then greater teleport to the cliffs above the Charcoal Minaret.

With unbelievable ease, our heroes appear on thousand tall cliffs overlooking Kathmar and the bleak desert beyond. Rache and Jeptha don their Boots of the Cat and drink their jump potions, then leap into the void. Thanks to the potions they both are able to land on the minaret, and thanks to the boots they both take 20 damage instead of 20d6 damage. They immediately dispatch the two guards on top, then wait for Swaggles and Ayslin to fly down. So far, so good.

The group makes use of their new ascension power, pocket sight, to identify and see out of pockets of their element: plants and animals for Rache, water for Ayslin, and strong fires for Jeptha. They search for the council room, where they hope to murder the high council. Swaggles watches the door into the Minaret, and downs some more guards who come up.

Jeptha finds the council room after about 10 minutes of searching (though it is only partially occupied), but around this time they are challenged by guards in the staircase. The claim to surrender, kill a few guards as they come up, and then chase the other guards down the stairs. The alarm goes off.

For the next fifteen minutes they make their way down the tower, easily slaughtering any resistance. The tower acts as an effective bottleneck, and these CR 3 and 4 guards are not even worth rolling against. They find the council room empty, and, as time passes, the tower becomes deserted.

They reach the bottom of the tower, open the door to perhaps 500 armed and ready enemies, then close it again.


At this point, Swaggles looks over his spell list and finds "Control Weather." A tornado would be pretty awesome against a city of sand and gravel, right? They head to the top of the minaret. Swaggles starts casting the spell (10 minutes), while climbers come up the mountain. There are a handful of flyers around, and Ayslin snowballs them to death.

Then, out of nowhere, insects appear. First a colossal scorpion with nasty venom. Then a swarm of caterpillars. Then another swarm of caterpillars, then another colossal scorpion. During the fight Rache is grabbed, Jeptha is poisoned, Ayslin lobs a few snowballs of different flavors, and Swaggles loses his spell casting after being confused and nauseated. But the vermin are overcome.

Swaggles has one more casting, and the heroes decide to go somewhere more remote. They teleport to the cliftops two miles out of the city, and Swaggles casts Control Weather unmolested. As the winds pick up a few people attempt to dispel it, but CL 19 is hard to contend with.

A massive hourglass shape appears over the desert and moves towards to city. It reaches impossible proportions as it nears, an immense funnel bringing black sand up and into the clouds. The tornado is bulbous and, from this distance, smooth and hypnotizing. As it moves over the city it completely obscures it. Kathmar is now a pillar of black and grey sand.

And it will be for the next 29 hours.

It is now May 26th, 2015 A.C. Our heroes played this session at level 15, Ascension Level 4.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

New Pantheon 14: The Desolation of Varaug

Our heroes, now joined by the new God of Darkness Lord Humungus, continue sailing for Dail and the town of Briartop. Here they hope to convert the locals, probably by cutting their legs off at the knee and sending them to inform the surrounding villages.

Rache casts detect scrying again. This time he sees that the Reclaimers are spying on them in addition to the Dorians.

When our heroes near Briartop, they see an immense pillar of smoke. The village and the surrounding area has been leveled, and pools of yellow liquid still burn. Layric recognizes the metallic smell from his scratch and sniff monster manual: A red dragon, likely a Wyrm or Great Wyrm (CR 20+). Probably out of our hero's pay grade.

Our heroes make their way to the town, which they find completely leveled. After some searching, they come across a stone cellar, where the two survivors have been trapped: Vera, a large, blonde woman, and her 6 year old son Jericho. After being given some food and water, Vera explains that the great Red Dragon Varaug has claimed this area, and most of Dail, under his rule. He requests two things: Monthly payments of gold, and free reign to eat any he chooses.

For years, the citizens of Briartop went along with this, terrified of the massive dragon. Then Vera's older son, Michael, decided enough was enough and formed a mob. They killed the mayor, then set about to protect the town. When Varaug found that his monthly tribute was not ready, and that the villagers were armed and poking sticks at him, he leveled the entire town in a matter of minutes. A single scale is all the damage the thousands of townsfolk did, and Lord Humungus grabs it for later scrying purposes.

Our heroes discuss what to do. At their current ability, they determine that attacking the dragon would not be feasible. Perhaps caution is the better part of valor, or whatever. You know. They slink away from Vera, then head back to their boat. Perhaps the Dorians and the destruction of Kathmar are next on their list?

That night as they get ready for sleep, the avatar of Avaryn, the Night Queen, appears before them. The avatar is a bow-wielding half-elf, and she marks them for death, then attacks. The fight seems fairly straightforward until the moon goes behind a cloud and the avatar turns invisible. Then, it becomes fairly straightforward again with an application of glitter dust. Jeptha keeps the avatar prone and unable to unleash her 5 attacks. Surrounded by Rache, Jeptha, Lord Humungus, and an Earth Elemental, and getting shot at by Layric and Swaggles, the Avatar falls without too much trouble.

It is now May 25th, 2015 A.C. Our heroes played this session at level 14, Ascension Level 4.

After the session, we ran a mock fight against the CR 20 Dragon. The dragon's 22d10 fire breath was incredibly deadly (no surprise there), but the heroes were able to overcome him with extensive injuries and no casualties. There were however, a few things that made this significantly easier than the real thing. The dragon was not buffed, and our heroes were fully buffed. Also, I will be running the Varaug with double the HP of the standard CR 20 Dragon.

We ran three or four rounds in about 10 minutes though! Amazing!

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

New Pantheon 13: Dragon and Leviathan

Our heroes are now level 13 and ascension level 4, with over 100,000gp worth of equipment. The have the backing of 40 million worshipers, and one of the strongest empires in Cain at their beck and call.

All of a sudden our heroes are sexy and they know it.

Our heroes chat with Shor'mat for a while, deciding where to go next. The Mavenites are likely too powerful, the Nutters too insignificant, the Trinity too unclear, and the Reclaimers too far away. This leaves the Atheists. Our heroes aren't exactly sure how they will convert them, but it will likely be a divine good cop, bad cop across a few smaller towns. Our heroes check in on Shor'mat's brother Sebeth Gamorra, determine that he probably won't be a problem, then set sail on the Pinafore towards Dail. Thur'Khan, the high Priest of Fire, and Billy Aey'Khan, the child orphan High Priest of Air, stay behind.

On the way, Rache is able to determine that two people are scrying on him. He is able to pin down one person to a robed figure in Kathmar, in a room with approximately 20 other robed figures. The second individual he is unable to get a fix on.

The second day of travel our heroes are attacked by a huge leviathan construct and a huge dragon construct (health doubled). Rache identifies these as the city-wrecking war machines built by the Dorians in their war of domination before the cataclysm.

Both constructs have powerful breath weapons, and Rache and Jeptha endure a few blasts before the enemies come into melee range. Swaggles flys around and plinks away with his bow. Finally the Dragon lands on deck next to Jeptha, only to be immediately tripped. When he tries to get back up, he is tripped again, and Rache moves in for some massive damage.

The Leviathan rears up out of the waves and grabs onto and then swallows Jeptha. The ride down the mechanical mouth and into scalding water and crushing gears isn't pleasant, and Jeptha begins armor spiking his way out. Rache finishes off the Dragon, then moves to the edge of the ship - too bad the Leviathan in 10 feet away and out of reach.

Another round and Jeptha damages the Leviathan's mechanical stomach, but the god of fire is brought down to 4 hp. Swaggles senses death is near, and leaps down the Leviathan's throat to heal his comrade with a Mass Cure Moderate Wounds. "I don't have too many more of those. 0 to be precise."

Rache contunes to shake his fist at the construct, then uses his judgement burst spell to deal a bit of damage to the leviathan while healing the heroes inside the Leviathan. He is then grabbed himself.

Jeptha finally cuts a hole in the Leviathan's stomach, and Swaggles and Jeptha go into the ocean, underwater. Swaggles attempts to shoot the construct from underwater at point blank range, but misses all of his shots.

Rache pulls out his morningstar and attacks the creature. He is then swallowed, takes a bumpy ride down the Leviathan's throat and out its stomach. Ouch. One more round of melee at on all sides (Rache drops his morningstar into the ocean to pull out his falchion - RIP morningstar), and the Leviathan dies.

It is now May 23rd, 2015 A.C. Our heroes played this session at level 13, Ascension Level 4.

Monday, November 10, 2014

New Pantheon 12: Rise of Shor-Mat

Rache, Layric, and Aislyn face off against a now angelic Kah-Mat. But before combat can begin, our heroes hear a female voice inside their heads: "Are you the elemental six reborn?" When the answer is affirmative, a massive window in reality forms, showing the mob below exactly what is happening in the throne room.

The fight does not start off well. Layric learns that acid does nothing against Kah-Mat (and that she has Spell Resistance), and Rache unsuccessfully attempts to dispel the queen's Warhammer. Kah-Mat then uses her 100 foot fly speed to land in our hero's midst and use holy word. Rache saves and, due to his inquisitorial toughness, suffers no ill effects. Aislyn saves but is still blinded for two rounds. Layric fails the save, and is blinded for five rounds and deafened for two rounds.

Our spell casters then deduce that Kah-Mat is immune to cold. Kah-Mat uses Holy Smite, an area burst attack, then moves. Aislyn burns an fireball attempting to locate the queen in the darkness, but misses. Then Kah-Mat returns to war hammer Rache.

After a few turns of immunities, spell resistance, and DR, our heroes hit upon a strategy. Rache uses his piercing judgement to lower Kah-Mat's SR, and Aislyn is able to scream so loud is dazes the queen. Rache gets a massive hit on the dazed angel and then Layric gets a critical for 2 damage (before DR), injuring Kah-Mat's hand.

Kah-Mat retreats back behind her throne to tend to her hand. After a few rounds pass, our heroes realize that she is likely healing herself. Rache charges around the throne and lands a massive critical, sending Kah-Mat into view. Aislyn finishes off the queen with a fireball.

As the courtesans and crowd erupts into confused murmurs, a single woman detaches herself from the people in the throne room and quickly makes her way to the balcony. She addresses the crowd.

"Listen to the words of your new Ruler. Today we are doubly blessed. The heretic Kah-mat the eleventh, now the forgotten Kah-mat, has been cast from our midst, and the true elemental six have returned to us! As sister to the forgotten, I am now Shor'Mat, first of the new dynasty! Go from this place and let your family, friends, and enemies know: The true gods of Narset have returned to power, and Shor'Mat, once Lana Gamorra, sister of the forgotten Kah-mat, takes their counsel."

The crowd erupts into cheers. A pissed off man in the throne room glares at Shor'Mat, but says nothing.

Rache commands that everybody kneel. They genuflect. The gods are content.

The Gods meet quickly with Shor'Mat. She's power hungry as all get out, but seems to believe in them. Our heroes determine that she'll make a good Mat, and leave her in power. The pissed off man is her brother, but she says that he shouldn't be a problem. The Gods tell Shor'Mat their true names.

Shor'Mat also makes the heroes aware that the Narset Government has approximately one million gold pieces. Aislyn suggests that they each take 80,000, though no final decision is made.

What to do with Thur'khan and Kah'khan?

Thur'khan is summoned from the boat. He is deeply disturbed to see all the genuflecting, understands that he has not been made Mat, and knows that his relationship with the false gods has just changed forever. Nervous and pale, he genuflects. Rache assures him that everything will be alright tomorrow.

Everybody sleeps.

In the morning they make their way back to the boat, Thur'Khan in tow. On the way they disintegrate a man who runs at them with a knife, blame a son's blindness on her mother's lack of belief, and successfully argue theology with a handful of priests.

They take Thur'Khan and the boat back to Kah'Khan's cave.

In the cave, Kah'Khan and his followers refuse to kneel. Against Aislyn's protests, Layric opens a 70 foot deep acid pit beneath the high priest of the true god of earth. Kah'Khan fails the test. Rache then murders the high priest's entourage.

Our heroes then turn their attention to the shaking and terrified Thur'Khan. "You are the only one who knows the truth now. We will name you high priest of fire, and you will stay here in Karem'Kora. I trust that you will worship us faithfully, and know us as gods?"

In response, the quivering and pale Thur'Khan genuflects. "Of course. You are the Gods of Narset."

It is now May 21st, 2015 A.C. Our heroes played this session at level 12, Ascension Level 3. They have just leveled up to Ascension Level 4.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

New Pantheon 11: Assault on Kah-Mat

After long discussion with the High Priest of Earth, two points are driven home. First, the High Priest does miss his divinely ordained powers, and recognizes that Layric can grant them. Second, our heroes are off to overthrow Kah-mat, which is something that the High Priest can get behind. The High Priest agree to keep his mouth shut, at least for now. "You can find me after you overthrow Kah-Mat, and we can discuss my place in your 'New World Order."

Thur'Khan is temporarily placated. But confused. And brooding.

Our heroes make their way back to the Pinafore, and continue to Karem'Kora, arriving at the massive city that evening.

After a bit of fact finding, it is determined that Kah-Mat has rebuilt the high temple on a 50 foot cliff directly over a waterfall. She gives weekly sermons from a large balcony. She is also always flanked by her 6 high priests, who have been known to change forms into vivid personifications of their elements.

Layric and Peter II do some night scouting. They make their way onto the roof of the building without a hitch, and find it well guarded, with some staircases leading down. They then make their way onto the balcony, where they trip some sort of magical alarm. Layric memorizes the area for future dimensional door-ing, then dimensional doors himself and Peter II back to ground and safety.

After much discussion, the plan forms. It is simple enough. During one of Kah-mat's sermons, the heroes will dimensional door to the balcony and kill the king and high priests in a very public way. Easy.

Our heroes wait until the next sermon. The stand among the throng of thousands, buff, then teleport up.

Things go wrong immediately.

Our heroes are targeted by a "Teleport Trap," though only Peter II fails his will save. The ninja winds up in a pitch black, bare room with a single locked door and a large, hungry looking ooze with tremor sense. Worst case scenario for a ninja. Failed will save results in a sneak-attack immune enemy who can see invisibility.

Layric, Swags (Crow-Man), and Jeptha resist the save and wind up successfully on the balcony. A fight immediately breaks out. Kah-mat and the high priest of light teleport away, and the remaining high priests (water, air, fire, earth, dark) transform into huge elementals. Down a member, this fight is incredibly close. Our heroes are surrounded.

Layric is invisible, and lobs a few fantastic area spells that deal massive damage. Jeptha watches in horror as the two-legged humans transform into no-legged elementals - but is relieved to see that final transformation yields a legged earth elemental. He is tripped, of course.

Swags finds himself surrounded and unable to use his bow without taking 5 opportunity attacks. Jeptha valiantly pulls a "Maven" and dances around to incur the opportunity attacks. Thanks for a high save and mobility, only one hits. Swags then takes the opportunity to fly away and into the temple, where he has a better vantage point. Arrows start flying. The Dark elemental is downed, and then the Air elemental, through a combination of arrows, acid balls and long pointy stick thrusts.

Peter II is having a somewhat worse time. He risks an opportunity attack and picks the first lock on the door. With minimal hit points and few options, he then flees to the corner where he is devoured by the Ooze. The God of Darkness looks for another host.

Back on the balcony, Jeptha takes a beating, then drops down to -12. He starts bleeding out. Game over for Jeptha? Not so! Swaggles uses cure critical wounds to bring him back up to 20 or so, and the invisible Layric makes Jeptha invisible, giving him time to nurse his wounds. A very strong tactical choice. Swaggles is now the only visible target, and he flees for his life into the temple, elementals in hot pursuit. Particularly the fire elemental.

The earth elemental is the last to charge after the Crow. Jeptha takes this opportunity (attack) to come out of hiding and make short work of him.

A few rounds of combat later, and the fire and water elementals are killed. Layric is sitting pretty, never having been seen, Swaggles is somewhat injured from an irate Fire elemental and Jeptha is limping along.

At this point, Super-Saiyan Kah-mat appears, seeming to have fused with the positive high priest. She has gained wings and a massive morning star, and she has fire in her eyes.

It is now May 20th, 2015 A.C. Our heroes played this session at level 11, Ascension Level 3.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

New Pantheon 10: Aquatic Beasties and God-Like Impostors

The remaining gods return to Gallowhall to discover that the God of Darkness has chosen another: Peter II, a strange ashen man with a longbow and bizarre goggles. He lets nothing on regarding who he is or where he has come from. Our heroes accept him.

Peter Corinthian learns that Semprona is dead, stomps off in a huff, and then is thrown in jail next to Thomas.

Our heroes take a quick sailboat ride to New Auger, where they purchase some supplies.

Then, back at Gallowhall, they decide their next target is Narset. Those guys just need a gentle nudge, right, as they already follow a divine six? Our heroes take a small crew, man the HMS Pinafore and head to Karem'kora, Narset's capital. Gallowhall will follow behind at its slower pace.

On the way they are attacked by a colossal crab (with doubled health), two giant octopuses, and a dire shark. The fight is criminally easy to start. The crab is dealt nearly two hundred damage in one round, before it smashes its own head on the deck and goes unconscious. Jeptha prevents one octopus from getting on board, and the other is pummeled.

Then, when the fight seems all but won, things get hairy. The crab re-emerges and grabs and throttles Rache, bringing him down to 2 hp. When the beastie dies, Rache falls into the water. When a dire shark makes a lunge, Jeptha gets in the way and winds up in the shark's stomach. However, the shark eventually dies to fire and our heroes continue on their way. This was a CR 15+ fight.

The night before reaching Karem'Kora, Thur'Khan receives a message from Kah'Khan, the high priest of Earth. The high priest, who was supposedly dead, was actually spared when Kah'Mat killed the other high priests. Kah'Khan awaits them in a small cave nearby. Our heroes decide to meet with him.

Before entering the cave, Rache uses his scroll of Detect Scrying. He is able to determine that two different individuals are scrying on him, but can glean no information.

Our heroes are greeted by men in brown cloaks, worshippers of Earth. They are also greeted by Kah'Khan, whom Thur'Khan immediately embraces. Then Kah'Khan takes Layric to a small room.
"Just a formality my lord. What is your true name?"

"Kah'duln" replies Layric, listening to the voice in his head.

Kah'Khan enraptured looks turns first to confusion, then to horror. "You are not the God of Earth. Who are you?"

An equally confused Layric attempts to convince the High Priest, then begins to think they have walked into a trap. When Kah'Khan calls in his acolytes, the rest of the party follows. The conversation is tense and confused.

Slowly, Rache says "It's possible that we aren't the true gods."

How could this happen? What is going on? When our heroes tell Kah'Khan their whole story, he hesitantly suggests the following: Narset sent out several colonies about 500 years ago. One such colony may have been on the island that Gallowhall docked with, where the heroes found their powers. It is possible that over the decades, the culture and religion of the colony changed so much that their worship no longer went to the 6 Elemental Gods. This new worship formed small spirits, who believed themselves to be the elemental gods. When the colony died out, the spirits remained until our heroes re-awakened them.

"Then join with us," implores Layric. "Your gods are dead, and we are their replacements."

"I am sworn to the God of Earth, not some imposter. You would have to kill me first. And if you do not, then I will return to Karem'Kora and warn them of your falseness."

"Very well. Then you must die."

"Wait!" shouts a distraught Thur'Khan. "I don't understand what is happening here, but you cannot kill this man. Besides being a high priest, he is one of my dear friends. You would have to go through me first."

It is now March 11th, 15 AC. Our heroes played this level at level 10,  Ascension Level 3.

Friday, November 7, 2014

The Gobbler

The Gobbler
A Thanksgiving Tale

Every year for the past six years, Giblet Turkey Farms and Slaughterhouse has suffered some great tragedy on the eve of Turkey Day.  Gunter and Drumstick Giblet have hired the party to protect their prestigious institution and get to the bottom of these mysterious matters. Through the night the PCs are visited by the Ghost of Turkeys Past, the Ghost of Turkeys Present, and the Ghost of Turkeys Future before coming face to face with the fearsome Gobbler.
Included in “The Gobbler:”
  • Four delicious turkey-based enemies
  • A bizarre yearly ritual of slaughter in the town of Pilgrim’s Rest
  • A mysterious new holiday themed curse
  • Two sticks of butter and a dash of nutmeg

The Gobbler is a Thanksgiving one-shot meant for 3-4 third level PCs using the Pathfinder ruleset.

Turkey Day in Pilgrim’s Rest

Turkey Day is an annual tradition in the quaint little town of Pilgrim’s Rest.  At noon, the eager townsfolk hurry out of their homes and down to the dozen or so turkey farms that line Pilgrim’s Promenade.  After purchasing the biggest turkey they can afford, they take their turkey to the town center for the Great Slaughtering, a sacrifice to the Mighty Turkey in the Sky.  Then, they take the remains home, throw the broken body in the oven, and settle down with the whole family to eat the corpse.  Other ceremonial dishes include eviscerated potatoes, liquefied squash, and pie.

For centuries, Giblet Turkey Farms and Slaughterhouse provided the biggest, highest quality turkeys known to Pilgrim’s Rest.  A family institution, Giblet Farms has been selling turkeys since the first great cull of ‘09.  But recently, the farms have fallen on hard times.  Every year for the past six year, Giblet farms has dutifully built up their turkey stores, feeding, and housing the great fowl throughout the seasons.  Every year, Gunther Giblet, owner of the farms, insists that turkeys will be on sale this year for Turkey day with no problems.

And every year, some mysterious tragedy has befallen the farms in the night.  Giblet Turkey Farms and Slaughterhouse is unable to open on time the next day, and the farms are forced to sell their turkeys the next day at slashed prices.

The PCs have been hired to protect Giblet Turkey Farms and Slaughterhouse, and to get to the bottom of the mystery.

Gunther Giblet’s Office

Gunther’s waiting room is a bit small, but otherwise comfy.  Chairs, tables, books, and mugs are all halfling size, and the taller PCs must crouch to avoid touching the ceiling.  The walls, floors and chairs are all decorated in brown and orange, and the paintings all depict Gunther with some massive prize turkey caught in the wild.  A silver bowl of piping hot cider fills the room with a delicious scent.

Gunther is clearly running behind schedule, locked in some angry and increasingly loud negotiations with a young lady.   As the minutes tick by, the conversation behind the closed door reaches a fever pitch, until suddenly a dark haired halfling woman bursts out of the office fuming.  Her voice already hoarse from yelling, she stops, spins around, and screams “And you didn’t have to name me Drumstick!” before disappearing out the front door.

Gunther Giblet stands red faced in the room.  With a long sigh this round little halfling returns to his chair, leans back, rests his feet up on the desk, and begins to massage his temples.  His eyes are closed, but after a few moment he calls out “Next appointment please.”  It is the PCs’ turn.

The office smells strongly of cinnamon and nutmeg.  Just like in the waiting room, everything in here is brown, orange, and halfling sized.  The walls are lined with paintings of massive turkeys that Gunther himself has caught.

Directly behind Gunther is a huge painting of the halfling himself next to the largest turkey the PCs have ever seen.  In the painting, Gunther is scratched and pecked up from the hunt, but otherwise beaming.  Next to Gunther is a scowling halfling child who can only be Drumstick.

“She’ll come around.  The business has been in the family for seven centuries, and it is not going to stop with Drumstick.”  He sighs again. “She’s a vegetarian, you know.  Does it to spite me.”  A large bottle of Wild Turkey Bourbon sits on the desk, and Gunther pours himself a small cup, then downs it.  “Stressful time of year.  I always try and see to it that I get as blotto as possible before Turkey Day.” He pours another glass, then raises it.  “Cheers.”

A look of recognition suddenly flashes in Gunther’s eyes.  “Oh!  You are the mercenaries that I hired to look into matters at the farm!”

Gunther will then engage in conversation with the PCs.  He is a very amiable and has done his research, talking with the PCs about their past adventures and public lives.

He will also explain the situation.  Every year on the night before Turkey Day, mysterious vandals wreck his farm.  He has hired previous mercenaries to look into the matter, but they have all, unfortunately, been brutally murdered on the job by inexplicable forces.

If the PCs ask about Drumstick, Gunther will explain that she is his daughter from a mother who died in childbirth.  Drumstick does not want to take over the family business, but Gunther is sure she will change her mind.  Gunther will dismiss any accusations aimed at Drumstick as preposterous.

Gunther will also dismiss any accusations aimed at his competition, insisting that turkey farming attracts only upstanding gentlemen, and they have all been very sympathetic.

After the first accusation, or fit somewhere else into the conversation, Gunther will exclaim “And don’t tell me it’s the Gobbler!”  When asked to explain, Gunther will roll his eyes. “A silly urban legend, nothing more.  Six years ago, I installed an automatic turkey slaughterer to speed things up on Turkey Day.  Put the live turkey in one end, get a perfectly de-feathered, beheaded, and cooked turkey on the other.  I’m very proud of it.

“Well, during the installation, one of the crew fell inside the machine.  Before we could turn it off, the poor fellow was de-feathered, beheaded, and cooked.  We sent his body home to his family but, due to a terrible miscommunication, they ate him for their Turkey Day dinner. We received a very kind letter the next day thanking us for the meal.

“In any case, some of my more superstitious workers now believe that his ghost haunts the farm, and that he is behind the accidents.  Totally gobble-de-gook if you ask me.  Hogwash!”

The PCs have no way of knowing this, but this entire story is just a red herring.  It is all true, but the man’s ghost moved on without issue, happy that he could feed his family one last time.

After determining payment (1,500gp a party member, unless the price has been negotiated higher) and resolving any other outstanding issues, Gunther sends the party directly to the farm to begin their watch. The PCs get to the farm as night falls.

The Giblet Turkey Farm and Slaughterhouse

The term “farm” is an overstatement.  The Giblet Turkey Farm and Slaughterhouse is a large warehouse.  Cubbyholes filled with massive turkeys fill the west and south walls of this 5 story room, and the noise is incredible. The top five feet of each of the four walls is devoted to windows which let in the night breeze and moonlight.

Along the east wall sits “the machine,” menacing and still.  It is 45 feet long and jet black, a coal operated conveyor belt of death. Spring loaded blades, shiny red tubes, and a square oven are all part of the hellish contraption.  A series of empty buckets lie below the machine, evidently for catching the unwanted by-products of the process.  They are, thankfully, empty.

The room is also littered with empty wooden crates, presumably for transporting live turkeys. The boxes are three feet tall, provide partial cover, and require a DC 10 acrobatic check to leap onto.  Inform the players that they should feel free to arrange the boxes however they like.

The only door in or out of the room is in the center of the north wall.  It leads to a series of small storerooms and staff rooms.

Allow the PCs to investigate and set up whatever defenses they like, including pushing the boxes around to make cover.  After that, time passes quickly.

The Warning

The turkeys slowly fall asleep, and the unbearable noise dies down.  All is silent for a time, and the hours tick by.

Then, around 11pm, a soft scratching noise is heard, as if something hard is being dragged across a stone floor.  The scratching noise grows louder and louder, until it is evident that something is about to burst in from the northern door.

Something does.

The door flings open, and a booming voice declares “Beware!”  The turkeys all wake up at the sound and begin to gobble madly.

In the doorway stands an extremely elderly half-elf.  He has a light dusting of white hair on his head and chin, and is missing one of his eyes.  The man is dressed in overalls, is carrying a mop and is dragging a bucket of water behind him.

“Beware!” Repeats the half-elf, if he is not subject to the prepared actions of the PCs.  “I am Derby, the night janitor, and I have seen your predecessors torn to pieces every year for the past 6 years!  Beware!  Tonight you shall be visited by three Ghosts: The Ghost of Turkeys Past, The Ghost of Turkeys Present, and The Ghost of Turkeys Future!  Only after shall you see the Gobbler before he takes your life.  You shall know him, for his gobbles shall shatter the very windows!”

Derby kicks his bucket over dramatically, raises his arms, then starts mopping the floor.

Derby is a fairly crazy half-elf.  He has been the night janitor for Giblet Turkey Farms and Slaughterhouse for nearly 100 years, and it shows.  He is ragged, beaten down, and with his fair share of scars from handling turkeys.

He moves extremely fast, mopping the whole of the room in just a minute or two.  During this time, he will answer any questions the PCs have.

Derby has never seen the ghosts or the gobbler.  He only knows about them from the screams of the mercenaries as they attempt to fight.

Derby knows that Drumstick hates the farm, but has never seen her act against it.

Derby was there the night that they installed the machine.  A halfing named Trypto Phan was sucked inside, and Derby is sure that the ghost of Trypto is the gobbler.

To other questions, Derby will give crazy and evasive answers.  When the PCs are done with him, or when two minutes have elapsed, Derby will take his mop and bucket and leave to clean the other rooms.  However, the PCs have explicit orders to stay in the main room.  If they follow him, they will discover him cleaning until about midnight, and then leaving to go home.

The Ghost of Turkeys Past

Within half an hour the turkeys have calmed down again.  Most have ceased their gobbling and all is quiet again.

At midnight, the town bell begins to toll.  It rings out, seeming to slow down as it counts up.  After the eleventh tone there is an extraordinarily long pause … and then a loud bang erupts from inside the room.  The machine chugs to life, spitting smoke and a foul stench.  The fires within the oven begin to glow red, growing brighter with every passing moment.

Then, turkey entrails start seeping out of the bottom of the contraption.  They quickly overflow their buckets, spilling onto the floor in a massive red and black puddle.  As the machine picks up steam, the entrails rise in a heap, forming a huge, Frankenstein turkey.  This fifteen foot turkey drips intestines, feet, and brains, and fixes two glowing red eyes on the PCs before attacking.

Upon the turkey ooze’s creation, all PCs should make a DC 12 Will save or become frightened for d6 rounds.

Ooze, Turkey      CR 5
XP 1,200
N Huge ooze
Init -3; Senses blindsight 60 ft.; Perception -5
AC 5, touch 5, flat-footed 5 (-3 Dex, -2 size)
hp 50 (4d8+32)
Fort +9, Ref -2, Will -4
Defensive Abilities split; Immune ooze traits, slashing and piercing
Speed 10 ft.
Melee bite +6 (2d6+7)
Space 15ft.; Reach 5 ft.
Str 20, Dex 5, Con 26, Int —, Wis 1, Cha 1
Base Atk +3; CMB +6; CMD 13
Split (Ex) Slashing and piercing weapons deal no damage to a turkey ooze. Instead, the creature splits into two identical oozes, each with half of the original's current hit points (round down). A turkey ooze with 10 hit points or less cannot be further split and dies if reduced to 0 hit points.

After the destruction of the turkey ooze, the machine shuts off and all goes quiet again.  The remains of the turkey ooze slowly disappear.

The Ghost of Turkeys Present

Things remain calm until one o’clock.  The sudden chiming of the town bell wakes the turkeys, and they begin to gobble to each other.  Instead of dying out like for previous hours, this gobbling grows and grows, until it is insufferably loud.  All PCs should make a DC 12 Fortitude check or become deafened for d4 minutes.

Suddenly, the cages lining the walls of the room burst open.  Hundreds if not thousands of turkeys pour forth, with their minds set on revenge.

Place one turkey swarm on the south wall, one on the west wall, and one in the southwest corner.

Turkey Swarm       CR 2
XP 600
N tiny animal (swarm)
Init +0; Senses Perception +5
AC 155, touch 15, flat-footed 12 (+3 Dex, +2 size)
hp 25 (3d8+12)
Fort +8, Ref +6, Will +2
Defensive Abilities half damage from weapons, swarm traits
Speed 30 ft.
Melee swarm (1d6 plus distraction)
Space 10ft.; Reach 0 ft.
Special Attacks distraction (DC 14)
Str 12, Dex 10, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 11
Base Atk +3; CMB —; CMD
Feats Toughness, Great Fortitude
Skills Acrobatics +4, Climb +7, Perception +5
Distraction (Ex) Any living creature that take damage from a turkey swarm must make a DC 14 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round.

When the turkey swarms are dispatched, our heroes can see to their amazement that the cages are all closed once more, and the turkeys are still in them as if nothing has happened.  The turkey corpses littering the floors have all vanished.

The Ghost of Turkeys Future

Things are quiet again until the bell chimes two.  After the last chime dies out, there is a sudden flash of light in near the doorway.  All PCs should make a DC 12 Reflex save or become blinded for one round.

Three turkeys appear in the northern end of the room.  These turkeys are slightly taller than an average turkey, and they are dressed unusually.

The turkey in front grasps a longsword in one hand, and a steel shield in the other hand. He is dressed in full plate and sports a steel helmet. The turkey to his left wears a green cap and grasps a longbow.  The turkey to his right sports a pointed purple wizard’s hat and a long white beard.  In his wing he holds a staff.

The turkey in front gestures meaningfully to the PCs, and utters a confident gobble to his companions.  He then gives off a deep turkey warcry and charges the party.

Turkey Knight      CR 2
XP 600
Turkey Fighter 3
CG Small humanoid (turkey)
Init -1; Senses Perception +3
AC 22, touch 10, flat-footed 22 (+9 armor, +3 shield, -1 Dex, +1 size)
hp 34 (3d10+12)
Fort +7, Ref +1, Will +4 (+1 vs. fear)
Defensive Abilities bravery +1
Speed 15 ft.
Melee longsword +7 (1d6+2/19-20)
Str 14, Dex 9, Con 16, Int 13, Wis 11, Cha 15
Base Atk +3; CMB +4; CMD 13
Feats Iron Will, Shield Focus, Toughness, Weapon Focus (longsword)
Skills Intimidate +8, Perception +3, Sense Motive +3, Survival +6
Languages Turkish
Other Gear full plate, heavy steel shield, longsword

Turkey Archer      CR 2
XP 600
Turkey Fighter 3
CN Small humanoid (turkey)
Init +3; Senses Perception +2
AC 20, touch 14, flat-footed 17 (+6 armor, +3 Dex, +1 size)
hp 30 (3d10+9)
Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +1 (+1 vs. fear)
Defensive Abilities bravery +1
Speed 20 ft.
Ranged composite longbow +8 (1d6+1/×3)
Str 12, Dex 16, Con 15, Int 13, Wis 9, Cha 12
Base Atk +3; CMB +3; CMD 16
Feats Point-Blank Shot, Precise Shot, Toughness, Weapon Focus (longbow)
Skills Perception +2, Ride +5, Stealth +6, Survival +5
Languages Turkish
SQ armor training 1
Other Gear chainmail, composite longbow

Turkey Sorcerer      CR 2
XP 600
Turkey Sorcerer 3
CG Small humanoid (turkey)
Init -1; Senses Perception +4
AC 10, touch 10, flat-footed 10 (-1 Dex, +1 size)
hp 22 (3d6+9)
Fort +4, Ref +1, Will +3
Resist acid 5, cold 5
Speed 20 ft.
Melee quarterstaff +3 (1d4+1)
Special Attacks bloodline arcana: celestial
Sorcerer Spells Known (CL 3rd; concentration +6):
    1st (6/day)—bless, magic missile, shocking grasp, true strike
    0st (at will)—acid splash, daze (DC 14), drench (DC 13), jolt, mage hand
Str 12, Dex 9, Con 14, Int 13, Wis 9, Cha 17
Base Atk +1; CMB +1; CMD 10
Feats Eschew Materials, Spell Focus (enchantment), Toughness
Skills Appraise +7, Heal +5, Perception +2, Use Magic Device +9
Languages Turkish
SQ bloodlines (celestial)
Other Gear dagger

These turkeys, like their predecessors, disappear when they are killed.

The Gobbler

On the strike of three, the world seems to go dim. A distant, deep gobbling can be heard somewhere outside the building.  It grows louder and louder, with caged turkeys echoing the sentiment, until a single ear piercing gobble shatters the high windows of the room.  Then the door bursts open.

Gunther Gibblet stands in the doorway.  He gobbles to the heavens, clearly out of his mind with drink and pain.  As the PCs watch in horror, Gunther sprouts long brown feathers.  His nose elongates and hardens, and his halfling feet grow yellow and thin.  He howls as his arms extend and then fold back onto themselves.  The quivering mass grows.  And grows.  And grows. There is no more Gunther. In his place, a massive, terrifying turkey stands.

There can be no mistake.  Gunther Gibblet is a were-turkey.

Gunther fixes merciless red eyes on the party and attacks.

Gunther Giblet, Wereturkey            CR 6
XP 2,400
NE Large magical beast (lycanthrope)
Init +7; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision; Perception +4
AC 19, touch 12, flat-footed 16 (+3 Dex, +7 natural, -1 size)
hp 76 (8d10+32)
Fort +10, Ref +9, Will +5
Speed 30 ft.
Melee bite +12 (2d6+5/19-20 plus curse of the wereturkey), claw +12 (1d8+5/19-20 plus grab)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft.
Str 21, Dex 16, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 7
Base Atk +8; CMB +14; CMD 27
Feats Combat Reflexes, Improved Critical (bite), Improved Critical (claw), Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Skill Focus (Perception)
Curse of the Wereturkey (Su) A wereturkey’s bite infects a humanoid target with the curse of the wereturkey (Fortitude DC 14 negates).

       Wereturkey’s Curse
       Type curse, injury; Save Fortitude DC 14 negates, Will DC 20 to avoid effects
       Onset the eve of Turkey Day; Frequency on the night of every turkey day
       Effect target transforms into a wereturkey under the GM's control until the next morning

Resolution and Rewards

The result off all this nonsense varies widely depending on the player’s choices.  If Gunther is killed, then Drumstick closes the farm.  She hates the party for killing her father, but does not press charges.

If Gunther is simply subdued, then he returns to human form at daybreak with no memory of the night’s events.  He genuinely does not know that he is a were-turkey. Gunther has been getting “blotto” every Turkey Day eve for the past 20 years.  He wakes up the next morning completely hungover and usually in some strange place, with no memory of the previous night.  Because of this, he has no recollection of turning into a were-turkey, and does not think it strange when he wakes in torn up clothes.  He just assumes he’s a pretty crazy drunk.

Gunther received the curse from a magical turkey, the largest catch of his life and the one now immortalized in a picture on his office wall.  He will make this connection when told of his affliction.

A remove disease, remove curse, or heal spell will cure Gunther of his lycanthropy.  Otherwise, he will simply have to chain himself up every Turkey Day eve.

In any case, as long as Gunther survives the night, he will be thrilled with the PCs for cracking the case.  He will provide the PCs with whatever reward was promised and will even throw in a lifetime supply of turkey.  Though the PCs may have had enough of turkeys after the events at Giblet Turkey Farm and Slaughterhouse.

Support us and purchase a printable pdf of the Gobbler for 99 cents here!

Thursday, November 6, 2014

New Pantheon 9: Death of a God and the Fleet

Back to the action! This was a session where, for whatever reason, nearly half of the attacks were criticals.

The Alchemist is headed straight for another major ship in the royal Armada. Ayslyn has disappeared into the waves, and Swaggles has disappeared into the skies.

Semprona and Layric fire their cannons, largely hitting their targets, two large ships that have moved into position. They brace for impact.

Rache and Jeptha continue looking for a magic item in Patrick's quarters until a catapulted rock tears off the top of the room, and the steering wheel with it. They cower against some rubble for protection from arrow fire. Jeptha runs out on deck and, finding himself exposed, uses the ship collision to throw himself into the hole left by the catapult - and down 40 feet. Moments later, a still large Rache squeezes out the door, charges across the deck, and hurtles himself down the stairs.

The Alchemist's iron bow has embedded itself in this new ship, rending an immense gash in the unfortunate wooden victim. The Gods attempt to board the ship from the first floor down of the alchemist onto the victim's deck. Layric, still engulfed in darkness, sneaks across the ship, but is soon passed by Semprona, who bursts from the ship's front and out into the mob of sailors. Jeptha makes his way forward, but is slowed by stairs. Rache runs forward, finds that he cannot fit out the small openings afforded him, and tries and fails to break his way through.

Semprona has done this dance before. She starts slaying sailors, but quickly finds that she has run out of Lay on Hands. No matter, what could go wrong?

Layric melts the captain and guard with acid, and Jeptha has a bit of difficulty maneuvering with the blocks of enemies.

Rache again fails to break through to the deck.

Then, Semprona gets the attack of a lifetime. Dealing a massive amount of damage, she cleanly separates head from body in the most graceful swing of her existence - the only problem? It is her head. Due to a critical fumble transformed to a self-inflicted critical hit, in conjunction with a 4x crit damage, Semprona completely obliterates herself. The God of Darkness leaves the corpse of Semprona, and "heads" abroad to find a new host.

Our heroes are horrified, but overcome the sailors. After several rounds of trying, Rache finally bursts on deck and intimidates the crew members to come aboard the Alchemist. They do so. Rache goes above deck with a score to steer the ship by grabbing the rudder, and Jeptha orders a score to start filling the hole with anything they can throw in - gunpowder included. Layric continues firing his cannon.

After a few turns, including critical miss induced friendly fire from the fleet, the HMS Enterprise is damaged beyond repair. When it is, Patrick's voice can be heard ordering the nearby, smaller HMS Pinafore to come pick him and the rest of the crew up.

Rache sets sail for the HMS Enterprise. In a stroke of madness, Jeptha begins breaking open the gunpowder barrels. The Alchemist is now a giant, iron grenade, and unwitting archers from other ships begin shooting fire arrows, lighting the Alchemists sails on fire. From here on out, Josh rolls a d20, then a d12, then a d8, then a d6, then a d4, and then d4s. On a 1, the Alchemist blows up.

The Alchemist comes alongside the Enterprise, which is alongside the Pinafore. Our heroes can see Fitzgibbons disembarking from one ship to the other. Given the Alchemist's size, Layric's cannon is now at deck level and he fires across a score of enemies.

Not wanting to let Fitzgibbons get away, Rache casts hold person on Fitzgibbons then leaps on deck, falling flat on his face. He is immediately surrounded by the mob, and a critical brings him down to -6. He begins to bleed out. The fuse on the Alchemist is going.

Jeptha also jumps, and falls flat on his face.

Layric realizes that this fight might be unwinnable. Still he is not giving up. He uses a scroll to cast invisibility on himself, then makes his way across the deck toward his real target: Fitzgibbons.

Jeptha gets mobbed by enemies, bringing him down to the low teens. He elects to roll off the side of the Enterprise, but takes an opportunity attack while rolling off and goes unconscious. He lands in the ocean, then begins to sink and drown. Within three rounds, he will be dead.

Layric makes his way to Fitzgibbons. He whips out a wand of Corrosive Grasp, and blasts the bastard. Fitzgibbons disintegrates. Layric then smiles at the crew members, and drops overboard.

The clock on the Alchemist is still ticking. Rache is still bleeding out on the deck of the Enterprise. Jeptha has seconds left to live.

Underwater, Layric chugs a Touch of the Sea Potion, the spots Jeptha sinking 90 feet away. He swims as fast as he can towards the God of Fire, and manages to bring him up for air just in time. Unfortunately, he they are now both 5 feet away from the Alchemist, which has a 25% chance of exploding every 6 seconds.

Layric takes a deep breath, then swims underneath the Enterprise. He brings Jeptha up for air just in time to keep him from drowning, then hangs onto the outside of the Pinafore. Agonizing seconds pass, waiting for the ship to blow. Over a minute ticks by. There is only a 1.8% chance that the ship has lasted this long.

Rache is brought aboard the Pinafore from the crippled Enterprise. He has stabilized, and is tied down.

Finally, a squad of sailors comes around to see what all of the splashing is. Four heavily armed sailors peek over the side of the boat, and lock eyes with Layric, holding an unconscious Jeptha. A beat passes.

Then, amazingly, the Alchemist blows.

Layric is temporarily deafened, as a thundering roar disintegrates the Alchemist. Shrapnel and burning shards of iron and wood are thrown with reckless force against a thousand men and a dozen ships. The half of the Enterprise is blow to nothingness. The ships in the area are riddled with sharpness, cracked, or physically knocked over from the blast. Those not in the blast radius are peppered with flame and catch ablaze.

Shielded by the corpse of the Enterprise, the Pintafore comes away with only minor bruises. Still, bodies and smoke clog the air and water. In the chaos, Layric climbs aboard the the small ship, drags Jeptha out of the water, then sneaks over the Rache. Grabing the God of Light's wand of cure light wounds, he heals his friends back up to positive. Then the remaining Pantheon take the ship, and sail away from the ruined fleet.

It is still March 4th, 15 AC. Our heroes played this level at level 9, Ascension Level 3.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

New Pantheon 8: Attack on the Armada

After extensive discussion, our heroes decide to take a small sailboat and meet the fleet before it hits Gallowhall. Using the cover of night, they approach the armada, a fleet of 19 warships including their flagship 'The Alchemist.' Layric uses still image to place an illusory rock over the ship, and Swaggles uses alter winds to keep the ship in place. As the Armada gets closer it spreads out a bit, allowing the rock to pass through it. At this point, Invisibility is cast on each of the characters and the boat. The armada glides through them, then Aislyn pilots the ship while Swaggles uses Alter Winds to power it. Silently, our heroes align with the flagship and keep a distance of 5 feet from it.

Layric hops onto the side of the ship, using his god-gifted climbing abilities to scale the massive iron sides of the warship. Nobody notices when he ties two ropes to the side of the ship. Our heroes tie these ropes to their little sailboat, then climb aboard. Miraculously, nobody falls in the drink. However, Semprona and Jeptha make a good deal of noise climbing aboard, and the sailboat starts banging on the side of the ship.

Sailors flock around the area, and a mate goes to warn the captain (with Layric in invisible pursuit, followed by Rache, Jeptha and Aislyn). Swaggles flies to the crow's nest and takes out the watchman there. Then Semprona decides enough is enough, and starts killing people. Swaggles starts shooting people, but almost immediately crit fumbles and decides to start cleaning his bow for three rounds.

The alarm is raised. Semprona is surrounded by 20 sailors, but, due to amazing Scythe rolls, self healing, and channel negative energy, fends off the horde. Layric, Jeptha, Aislyn, and Rache, meanwhile, stay indoors and wait for some guards to come out of a room. They wait. And wait. Layric enlarges Rache as a laugh.

As Semprona kicks ass and takes names, Layric decides to take the initiative and lock pick the door. A stunning roll sees the door swing open, and Aislyn lets off a Snowball, instantly freezing all inside. Our heroes look at each other and shrug.

Our heroes hear a voice over what seems to be some magical loudspeaker: "This is Admiral Fitzgibbons. The Alchemist has been compromised. Sink the Flagship." He then utters a string of letters and numbers, which can only be some sort of confirmation code.

Swaggles decides to gather information. He flies to the second crow's nest and starts intimidating the guy there into giving up Fitzgibbon's location by pecking at his liver a la Prometheus. The guy stabs Swaggles right through the gut, pinning him to crow's nest. Swaggles watches as the other guy leaps out and climbs down the crow's next.

Our heroes spend a few turns killing scores of sailors (including Jeptha mowing enemies down as they come up the steps), before a bear leaps out the the admirals quarters. Aislyn dazes it by screaming "Let it Go" at the top of her lungs, and when that fails after three turns, Jeptha trips the fuck out of it. RIP bear.

The crew members are dead, but there is no time to celebrate. Siege weapon shots go wide, and Rache grabs the wheel, intending to ram another ship in the fleet. Aislyn attempts to get to Swaggles by climbing up the mast so she can cast a helpful spell, but falls from 40 feet. Jeptha finds a small crawlspace that Fitzgibbons must have passed through, and starts crawling through it.

Then the arrows come. Layric casts darkness to conceal the allies on deck.

The first volley downs Aislyn and very nearly perma-kills Semprona, who is bleeding out fast. How to heal somebody who needs negative energy? Layric knows! He vanishes and runs across the deck to the anti-paladin, before he gets there, the flagship collides with another warship. A mighty gash is cut in the unhappy ship, while the Alchemist is somewhat unharmed. Rache falls from the shock, but Layric keeps his footing, then makes his way to his injured companions and casts bear's endurance to bolster Semprona's constitution. The extra hit points bring the dying god of darkness back to positive.

Crow-Man-Air-God-Guy rips himself from the rapier, suffering a massive wound. He then flies down to Aislyn and tags her back up with a cure critical wounds.

While this is happening upstairs Jeptha valiantly crawls through a tunnel much to small for him. The tunnel opens up to a porthole about 10 feet from the ocean. Groaning, Jeptha courageously inches his way backwards.

A crew from the rammed ship jumps aboard and the archers stand back up. "We need to get inside!" Shouts everybody, enduring another hail of arrow (this one without a scratch). "See ya!" shouts Swaggles, god of air, who takes to the skies. "See ya!" shouts Aislyn, god of water, who takes a running leap off of the ship.

Semprona and Layric make their way inside, where they both begin loading cannons. At this point, a massive rock (or catapult piece, who can say), smashes through the top of the ship and cracks the hull. Water begins seeping in.

Rache returns to the captains quarters where he sees Jeptha backing out of a crawlspace. "What did I miss?"

"Well" Rache, "If we wait here long enough, we just might level up!"

And then they did.

It is now March 4th, 15 AC. Our heroes played this level at level 8, Ascension Level 3.